The eye that sees the cycle of its own mercurial iris
The rise and set of its fears,
Like planents evolving, revolving above the sky
Takes them in, clear and steady, like a star learning to die
Master of its own agony, ravenous for a time, time, time that passed away
Light warps from blue to green to black to back again; the end.
5 comments:
This one reads like a riddle, I think.
I like this one! Personally I think that using somewhat simpler word in other poems could enhance the feeling from the poem. The word mercurial to me, for some reason, send somewhat of a cold hostile-ish vibe. I'm not sure why but using some softer simpler but just a colorful words could enhance the feel of the poem. Give it a go!
do you know what mercurial means? it describes something that is constantly moving and changing, just as the iris constantly expands and contracts. Is it the sound of the word that is bad, or just the obscurity? Something to ponder. I'm glad you like it. I like this one a lot too. :)
also, what is it about it that you like?
Wait, was time supposed to be in there three times?
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